How do you react? When your reality is not all it seems, and the people in it? You don’t know them at all. A wonder in your eyes, their confidence, their appearance, their sexuality. You thought they had it all figured out. You had no doubt in your mind that they were one day going to conquer the world with their prowess and wit. There is always a moment, a moment that gets flipped upside down when the truth reveals; you’re thinking to yourself – “How didn’t you spot it?” – “Is everybody like this?” – and you realize that all along, they were never comfortable around you.
That can hurt. When someone close to you has been putting on a mask whenever you are present. Someone you have indulged in your secrets and tales of woe. Though that is not your initial thought. When one of your friends open up to you, about their anxiety, depression, self-harming; you sit there in silence, listening intently and offering a supporting hand, whilst inside your mind is screaming at the top of it’s voice, cursing over and over. What made them like this? Is there anything I can do? So many questions mulling over in your head, trying to grasp back on to reality so you can be present in their most vulnerable moment. You say nothing, you just look at them, you hold them close to you hoping you could do this until it all blows over.
But it doesn’t. It doesn’t ever blow over. Your relationship has changed now, it’s always going to be in the back of your mind that your friend is not okay, and you have to be there for them. You want to be there for them. You love them. They broke themselves down to the raw nakedness of their bitter soul and let you in. What courage that must’ve took, how long it took them to overcome their fear of sharing. They did it, for you. They wanted to let you in because you are special to them, and they want you to know who you really are. The bitter truth.
If your friend lets you in, do not push them away. Don’t treat them like they are going to breakdown at any given moment. Let them know you are for them if they need you, then treat them like you always have, and always will. They will feel a million tonnes lighter, just with you knowing their true colors. Your relationship is stronger than ever, your love for one another is not fake.
They let you in. Love them for that.
You get it it took me a while to get it but I to understand very nicely put.
Wow, it definitely takes a lot of courage to open up to someone coz u r gonna b so vulnerable at that moment and u won’t b seen or understood the same way after that.
I love your post. It is true, being vulnerable is difficult for those of us who are struggling because the mask we wear it to avoid as part of our illness, we feel we aren’t good enough if people see the true us. I wish we didn’t have to tell other people that we need them to accept us for who we are. We shouldn’t have to tell them that they need to not judge us any differently than before the relationship changed. I am shocked by how people react when they encounter me when I’m trying to return to my social life, job, etc….however I am reminded that I can’t control other people and I shouldn’t have to ask to be accepted for who I am. I am currently finding out who my true friends are – the ones who do accept me as is, flaws and all!