As the tenderness of adulthood approached, with the weight of responsibility and independence bearing her every thought, Rebecca’s sanity wore thin, with hope of happiness being a thing of the past.
Left fatherless at ten years old, Rebecca and her two sisters, one brother, had to rely on their mother hand and foot – not being old enough to look after themselves. Over the years, she saw her mother grow weary, quiet and fall into a deep pit of depression. Rebecca was no ordinary girl, she never fully healed after her fathers departure, and she never will, that’s the problem with loving someone dearly. Everyday she struggled with her mental health; in some way she blamed herself for her fathers parting, she blamed herself for her mothers mental state. ‘Was it all my fault?’ she asked herself daily.
Because of all this, she didn’t let anybody in for years, with the fear that if she fell in love with somebody else then they too would eventually become broken – being a girl with a golden heart, she never wanted to hurt anybody. She chose to put her energy in the one thing that made her forget the world: Music.
She feels like she was born to be a pianist, she’s found it effortless since starting when she was seven years old. Fifteen years later, she’s still playing, learning, performing. It’s the only time she feels she can be herself, putting her heart and soul into every piece she plays, no matter who is listening. She may be broken and scarred from the troubles of her past, but her music stops her from leaving humanity. She just hopes that one day, somebody will hear her music and fall in love with her, because if they do they are falling in love with the real Rebecca, not the pretty quiet girl who never makes the fuss. She wears her heart on her sleeve, she struggles everyday but still manages to express herself through the art of sound. One day she will be truly happy.
Rebecca chose to stay anonymous for this post, not wanting her close family to know it is her, which is understandable.
We all have stories, scars, reasons for our madness. Everybody will relate, there are millions and millions of people suffering with their mental health. Share your story with me, and I will share it with the world, for the world to support.
I really want to get back into my music playing. It is on my ‘to do list’ of things to get my life back into some sort of organised routine.
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You are doing a great job…..
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